I'm lying in bed this morning, working on waking up and getting ready for the day. I have an appointment at 10:45 to check on things - see if I've progressed much. I wonder what news the appointment will bring. I've certainly had some contractions the last few days, but nothing regular. And seeing as I've never done this before, I'm not sure what it all means. Also, from conversations I've had with other pregnant women - I'm not sure if you really know for subsequent children either. But I'd say for the last two weeks I've been slowly hibernating myself as much as I can. Which is so weird for me, because I never really feel free to let things go or to slow down. But as much as I've been compelled to get things done prior, I just feel like I want to hole up a bit. Monday I didn't go into work and I took a nap (amazing that I took a nap), and I think I've worked a total of like…. 9 hours this week. I think it's like what my yoga instructor was saying - there is a time for expansion and a time for contraction. Now is the time/season for contraction.
Lord Jesus, thank you for these days before I go into labor. I thank you for the opportunity to be more quiet than I usually am. I pray that you would allow me to really be still before you and hear from your heart. I pray for that peace that passes all understanding. I pray that you would go ahead of me and prepare the way. I pray that the room I am in would be just the one you'd have for me. I pray that my nurses would be just the ones you'd have for me to have this experience with. I pray Lord that Jonathan and I would bless you and bless the people around us as we go through this transformation. Father, I pray that you would prepare the way for our families. God, I ask that the right people would come at the right time. It's so easy for me to worry about who will show up and who won't, who will intrude and who won't even bother to come. Father, I just commit all of that to you. You are with me always and will never leave me. I thank you for that truth. I pray that you would lead and guide the rest - our family, friends, etc. I pray that you would be truly honored and blessed by our lives and this particular part of our lives.
Father, I pray for Liam. Jesus - I thank you that he belongs to you, first and foremost. Jesus, I just ask for mercy on me and on Jonathan. I pray that you would help us to be repentant people. I pray that we would acknowledge our weaknesses and look to you for redemption and change. I pray that you would make us good parents.
Notes:
I'm huge - none of my clothes fit me anymore. I'm unwilling to buy more with the end in sight… although, I am unsure of how my body will be afterwards. I guess I'm not worried about how it will be, but it is so unknown to me how I will feel about my body. Lord, I pray that you would allow me to stay positive and to take good care of myself! I cannot get my head around us having a baby. Which seems ridiculous at this point. I love feeling him and I know him in there, but it's hard to imagine that he is a full grown infant in there :). I can't believe we are so close to looking him in the eyes and touching his hands with our hands. We packed up a diaper bag for Liam with some of his clothes in it last night… I can't even imagine what will actually fit him, what his body will be like. Can't wait!! But want to savor these moments too, that are so quiet and peaceful.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Almost 38 Weeks
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