Just praying through some issues right now and landed on something sweet from the Lord. There are a variety of things that I observe or encounter that just make me angry. Whether it be the sad reality of abortion in the United States, race relations, sexual degradation in mainstream pop culture - or more on the ground things in my own personal relationships - addictions, dysfunction, selfishness, insecurity; let's sum it all up in a word - Sin. Sin makes me angry and I know it makes a lot of people angry, even if you don't use the religiously charged word "sin." I see outrage in my newsfeed every single day. Outrage over all kinds of injustices and wrongs. And as I was praying through a few specific issues that have caused me to be outraged, angry... and unfortunately, hard and embittered as a result (because what then follows when our outrage is left unanswered? How many times does that emotion well up, and the circumstances and conditions stay the same, before we become callous?) - as I was praying - the word of the Lord spoke softly in my rage -
"for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God" James 1:20
It really says it all there. But I had to go hunting some more. Because I said to myself - What then produces righteousness? What can I do? What can I pray for? What characteristics need to be in my life (or someone else's) to produce this righteousness we all fundamentally long for?
ha. :). Will I ever learn? What the Lord was already speaking to me as I began to pray today... a lesson He has been pleading with my heart to accept for my whole life - spoken through Paul to the Philippians (1:6, 9-11):
"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ..."
Did you get that, dear soul? He began the work. You did not. He will bring it to completion. Not you, my dear.
"...And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may be approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."
ha! Righteousness that comes *through Jesus Christ* - not through my anger, outrage, conviction, self-discipline, or repentance, even - but *through Jesus Christ*
and not only that - but what's it all for? The glory and praise of God!
The message here echoes in a song that's been reverberating in my head/voice/community for the last couple of weeks:
You are worthy of it all
You are worthy of it all
For from you are all things
And to you are all things
You deserve the glory
So stand back, self! Lay down your weaponry of anger and arguments, and just start welcoming His kingdom and His righteousness. Self, start proclaiming His Truth to your own heart, over your people, your relationships, the injustices that pain you. He put all those things in your life to begin with and has a plan of righteousness and redemption far beyond your imagination, which feebly stretches to hope for "justice." Will you be a herald of the truth - of the victory - or will you wallow in the pain and lay down in defeat, saying this is the way things are?
For they are not!
And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment."
Revelation 21:3-6
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
life and death
I am undone.
This week has been... weighty, overwhelming. It's come on the heels of me being sick, followed by my dear Liam being sick (completely separate illnesses, both of unknown origins, to a house full of handwashing fiends. What. in. the. world.). While our illnesses were mild in the scheme of things, it has definitely been a time for Jonathan and I to be more - I want to say introspective, but that's not it at all - humble, I guess. It's really been a time for us to search out the heart of God and try to get His vision for our lives. Yet, while we've had a lot going on in our own family, I've been confronted with some really difficult things in my community. And all together it makes for some really challenging sorting.
Tuesday was the 40th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision. What can I even say. How do you go about mourning the loss of somewhere around 55 million babies? Now that I have had an ultrasound, seen how my son's life began even before I could see two pink lines - it's not merely a social issue or a principle anymore. It's mothers who have lost their babies. And this is too much for me. John Piper articulated this so well, so tragically in his blog post, We Know They are Killing Children - All of Us Know. This has been a development in the abortion debate that has snuck up on me - that there is no longer a debate. We all know that abortion is killing children.
And then I go from trying to get my head around how we as a society have justified legislation that has precipitated this unspeakable slaughter [I wanted to say "loss" but it is so much more active than that...] to praying for a dear friend of mine who on that same Tuesday completed 33 weeks of pregnancy with twin girls. Not just any twin girls, but twins that we've prayed for since... gracious, since before they had a big sister. We've prayed with this friend through years of fertility treatments, which came with disappointments, heartaches, and loss. Yet, I will never forget sitting with my friend while she was starting labor with her first, having prayed through weeks of bleeding for her to make it to viability. I will never forget praying with my mom and her boldly asking our Father for full term. I will never forget holding that baby girl for the first time - who was born 3 days AFTER her due date. So, I'm praying with now her that the Lord would sustain her and give her strength and bless the arrival of her two little girls. It is a privilege to hold her up in prayer and to boldly go before the throne of grace on her behalf.
Every night while I am feeding Liam his dinner, he has a view of our refrigerator. On it are the birth announcements of precious babies - babies whose mamas I got to share pregnancy with. The Lord gave me the huge blessing of sharing the time I was pregnant with my dearest friends, who had babies all around the time that I had Liam. While this brings me great joy even now (What a treasure to have a group of moms with which I can share notes, challenges, and joys!), I am also reminded that this was an answer to a prayer of desperation and pain. I found out I was pregnant just days after one and 2 months before another close woman in my life. I was beyond excited to be sharing nearly the same due date, and looked forward to years ahead with our babies being almost the same age. Our children would play together and know each other... and then both of these dear, strong women went through the trauma of miscarriage. I mourned along with them, the loss of their babies and my loss of that fellowship with them. I felt so alone. The Lord had mercy on me and heard my (selfish) prayer - He eased my fears of losing my own and allowed me to not walk through pregnancy alone. Yet, I am still praying for the Lord to bring about the healing and redemption. Still asking for a baby for a dear woman who I know wants to be a mama.
I've been praying now for several weeks for a family I barely know. My sister went to high school with the daddy of a baby girl who was born with HLH. She battled through chemotherapy and other preparation for a bone marrow transplant - and then she went to be with Jesus Friday night at 5 months old. Unspeakable. As I was praying for Izzy a couple days ago and she was on my mind, I read Liam the story of Jairus' daughter from the Jesus Storybook Bible. Makes me cry every time I read it:
Jesus walked into the little girl's bedroom. And there, lying in the corner, in the shadows, was the still little figure. Jesus sat on the bed and took her pale hand.
"Honey," he said, "it's time to get up." And he reached down into death and gently brought the little girl back to life.
The little girl woke up, rubbed her eyes as if she'd just had a good night's sleep, and leapt out of bed.
Jesus threw open the shutters and sunlight flooded the dark room. "Hungry?" Jesus asked. She nodded.
Jesus called to her family, "Bring this little girl some breakfast!"
Jesus helped and healed many people, like this. He made blind people see. He made deaf people hear. He made lame people walk.
Jesus was making the sad things come untrue.
He was mending God's broken world."
How I long for Jesus to come and once and for all make all "the sad things come untrue."
There isn't any great truth or point that I'm trying to make. I think I'm simply mourning, grieving - longing. My joy over my many great blessings is mixed with pain. I think of so many others outside of this week I have mourned over - Crosby, John Michael, Brant - "untimely" deaths.
And then I remember a comforting word that came to me in a dream - What is death anyway?
"Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:51-57
Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades."
Revelation 1:17-18
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Revelation 21:3-5
This week has been... weighty, overwhelming. It's come on the heels of me being sick, followed by my dear Liam being sick (completely separate illnesses, both of unknown origins, to a house full of handwashing fiends. What. in. the. world.). While our illnesses were mild in the scheme of things, it has definitely been a time for Jonathan and I to be more - I want to say introspective, but that's not it at all - humble, I guess. It's really been a time for us to search out the heart of God and try to get His vision for our lives. Yet, while we've had a lot going on in our own family, I've been confronted with some really difficult things in my community. And all together it makes for some really challenging sorting.
Tuesday was the 40th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision. What can I even say. How do you go about mourning the loss of somewhere around 55 million babies? Now that I have had an ultrasound, seen how my son's life began even before I could see two pink lines - it's not merely a social issue or a principle anymore. It's mothers who have lost their babies. And this is too much for me. John Piper articulated this so well, so tragically in his blog post, We Know They are Killing Children - All of Us Know. This has been a development in the abortion debate that has snuck up on me - that there is no longer a debate. We all know that abortion is killing children.
And then I go from trying to get my head around how we as a society have justified legislation that has precipitated this unspeakable slaughter [I wanted to say "loss" but it is so much more active than that...] to praying for a dear friend of mine who on that same Tuesday completed 33 weeks of pregnancy with twin girls. Not just any twin girls, but twins that we've prayed for since... gracious, since before they had a big sister. We've prayed with this friend through years of fertility treatments, which came with disappointments, heartaches, and loss. Yet, I will never forget sitting with my friend while she was starting labor with her first, having prayed through weeks of bleeding for her to make it to viability. I will never forget praying with my mom and her boldly asking our Father for full term. I will never forget holding that baby girl for the first time - who was born 3 days AFTER her due date. So, I'm praying with now her that the Lord would sustain her and give her strength and bless the arrival of her two little girls. It is a privilege to hold her up in prayer and to boldly go before the throne of grace on her behalf.
Every night while I am feeding Liam his dinner, he has a view of our refrigerator. On it are the birth announcements of precious babies - babies whose mamas I got to share pregnancy with. The Lord gave me the huge blessing of sharing the time I was pregnant with my dearest friends, who had babies all around the time that I had Liam. While this brings me great joy even now (What a treasure to have a group of moms with which I can share notes, challenges, and joys!), I am also reminded that this was an answer to a prayer of desperation and pain. I found out I was pregnant just days after one and 2 months before another close woman in my life. I was beyond excited to be sharing nearly the same due date, and looked forward to years ahead with our babies being almost the same age. Our children would play together and know each other... and then both of these dear, strong women went through the trauma of miscarriage. I mourned along with them, the loss of their babies and my loss of that fellowship with them. I felt so alone. The Lord had mercy on me and heard my (selfish) prayer - He eased my fears of losing my own and allowed me to not walk through pregnancy alone. Yet, I am still praying for the Lord to bring about the healing and redemption. Still asking for a baby for a dear woman who I know wants to be a mama.
I've been praying now for several weeks for a family I barely know. My sister went to high school with the daddy of a baby girl who was born with HLH. She battled through chemotherapy and other preparation for a bone marrow transplant - and then she went to be with Jesus Friday night at 5 months old. Unspeakable. As I was praying for Izzy a couple days ago and she was on my mind, I read Liam the story of Jairus' daughter from the Jesus Storybook Bible. Makes me cry every time I read it:
Jesus walked into the little girl's bedroom. And there, lying in the corner, in the shadows, was the still little figure. Jesus sat on the bed and took her pale hand.
"Honey," he said, "it's time to get up." And he reached down into death and gently brought the little girl back to life.
The little girl woke up, rubbed her eyes as if she'd just had a good night's sleep, and leapt out of bed.
Jesus threw open the shutters and sunlight flooded the dark room. "Hungry?" Jesus asked. She nodded.
Jesus called to her family, "Bring this little girl some breakfast!"
Jesus helped and healed many people, like this. He made blind people see. He made deaf people hear. He made lame people walk.
Jesus was making the sad things come untrue.
He was mending God's broken world."
How I long for Jesus to come and once and for all make all "the sad things come untrue."
There isn't any great truth or point that I'm trying to make. I think I'm simply mourning, grieving - longing. My joy over my many great blessings is mixed with pain. I think of so many others outside of this week I have mourned over - Crosby, John Michael, Brant - "untimely" deaths.
And then I remember a comforting word that came to me in a dream - What is death anyway?
"Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:51-57
Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades."
Revelation 1:17-18
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Revelation 21:3-5
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