Liam's Birth Story: Days 1-3

"Recovery"
The next chapter of the story is what happened after we got out of labor and delivery and into our "recovery" room. I sort of resent the fact that it is called the "recovery" room because in that room was where we had the biggest trauma of our experience. And it definitely wasn't as large or nice as our labor and delivery room.

Jonathan's sleeping accommodations
It was really late (10:00 - 11:00pm) by the time we got in the room and Liam made it back from the nursery. It was so uncomfortable to sit in bed, try to stand up, anything. I had a love/hate relationship with the giant ice pack I was furnished with. We had Liam sleep in our room with us, which was such a good idea. It was just nice knowing he was there and ok. I tried nursing him whenever he would wake up - I don't remember how often that was or how much success we had - but I made sure to at least express some colostrum into his mouth to be sure that he got something. Jonathan got up each time to get Liam out of his basinet, change his diaper, and bring him to me since it took so long for me to get out of bed. Just going to the restroom was a huge expedition. The next morning I asked my nurse if I could take a shower. I still had my IV port in (they leave it in for 24 hours "just in case") so she was reluctant to let me, but I insisted she wrap it up so I could at least have a bird bath. Just standing long enough to wash my hair and get a little clean was very challenging. My whole body was so sore! I had an idea that my upper body would be really sore from the pushing, and boy, was it ever. I put on a PJ set I had brought, put on my make up, and stuck a head band in since I didn't have the time or energy to dry my hair. A lactation consultant came by at some point to help us out - brought a breast shield and the parts that went to the hospital breast pump. She noted Liam's startle reflex and said that was normal, his nervous system was still developing. Liam wasn't latching on very well, but she said we should just try again in a few hours. I had a lot of visitors that day - my family, Jonathan's family and a few friends. We got some excellent pictures (which made me so glad I was insistant on showering and make up).

Liam's pediatrician came by in the middle of the visits to check him out. All looked great.

Liam waved his arms around when Dr. C had him in his diaper and was checking him out - he told us that his startle reflex was normal and short little shakes like that were just the developing nervous system. If he did it for a longer time, that was when we would have a concern. We had so much going on that I was fried by the end of the day, honestly, and Jonathan seemed like it too. Dr. H (my OB) had come by to check on me and said that he would be around that evening at some point to do Liam's circumcision. The evening wore on and no Dr. H - so the nurse said that he might come in at some point in the night.
I fed Liam between 11:00 and 12:00 and thought he had a pretty good feeding. I was awakened an hour later (1:00 am) when Dr. Herbst came in and had me sign that I was allowing him to perform the circumcision (Jonathan didn't wake up for this :)). The nurse came and got Liam shortly after that. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was really worried about Liam getting "hurt." I just didn't want him to be in any kind of pain. Next thing I know, the nurse blows back in the room at about 2:00 am, and I ask her, Is he awake? (She had said, if he's sleeping when he gets back, let him sleep, but if he's awake, go ahead and feed him). She said Yes, you need to feed him right now. His blood sugar is low. Then you need to pump and we'll feed him the rest through a syringe. She left the room, and I woke up Jonathan and could barely hold myself together. I was completely freaked out. I tried to feed him (I don't recall exactly how he did) and then the nurse came back in to assist with the supplemental feeding. She asked if I had pumped and I said no - We didn't even know how to use the pump yet. So, she got it set up, I pumped one side (because I only had the equipment for one side) for 10 minutes and got 8 ccs of colostrum. We fed him 4, I think, before he didn't want anymore. At the next feeding we gave him almost the rest of what I had pumped.
Because Liam had a low blood sugar in the middle of the night, the doctor wanted to retest his blood sugar after a feeding in the morning. So, I did the best I could to get him fed and then they took him away to get his reading. To be honest, the specifics on when they did the readings and when I fed him and all that are all blurry now, but to the best of my recollection, his blood sugar was even lower than the night time reading. So, the lactation consultants came in, I fed him, we pumped and finger fed (that is, used a syringe and a tube to feed Liam - Jonathan would let Liam suck his finger that had the tube on it and push the colostrum in) and then they wanted to do another reading. Mind you, this is the day we were supposed to be discharged and sent home. So, we talked to the Pediatrician and she said that if he didn't have a normal reading that they would consider admitting him to the NICU and putting him on an IV. It wasn't really clear what conditions we needed to be concerned about or what could be the problem. We were trying to keep ourselves composed and positive when the Ped. walked back in the room and said "It's not good." Liam had another low reading.

Jonathan and I were pretty upset. We held Liam super tight and tried (in vain) not to cry. We texted our friends and family to pray. I was so thankful Mom and Dad were with us to help us sort through what was going on. Before any decisions were made, Mom asked the nurse if the pediatrician would allow us to feed Liam some formula before we admitted him to the NICU. It made sense - rule out the food variable. Since I was nursing him (and this was pre-milk), we weren't sure how much he was getting, so therefore didn't know whether it was a problem with his metabolism or with the food. The pediatrician approved for him to go this route, so they plan was for Liam to consume 30 ccs of "food" per feeding and would be tested afterwards. He would need to get three normal readings before they would discharge him. So this was the plan - I would pump before the feeding and get as much colostrum out as I could. Then we would tube feed Liam either while he was latched on to my breast, or through the finger feeding method. It was really tricky to get Liam latched on to begin with, much less with a small tube incorporated. So, if I pumped 12 ccs, he would have 18 ccs of formula. As the day went on, I was able to pump more and therefore give less formula.

After 3 feedings 3 hours apart it was late, but we finally got 3 normal readings so Liam would be approved for discharge. Since it was around 11:00 at night, and past the day I was supposed to be discharged, they had already gone ahead and discharged me and allowed me to stay as a "boarder." So I got no more nursing care after that - only Liam had a nurse. We joked that we were "boarders without doctors." It was not very much fun though. We were encouraged by the end of the day, but seriously exhausted by the ordeal that each feeding was. We kept up the routine through the night, which was complicated, because I had to wash breast pump parts, clean syringes, and chart everything in addition to the basic care of diaper changing and the complicated feeding ritual. I was super anxious about how we were going to be able to keep this up once we got home.
So the morning came and with it a lot of hope. I got all our stuff packed up and was ready to get out of there. We just had to wait on the pediatrician to round and discharge us. The lactation consultant who had first met with us was working that morning and was so sympathetic to our situation. Liam was due to have another feeding just before we anticipated leaving, so she said she would come back by to work with us through one more feeding. She came in and had me nurse Liam while we sat and talked for about 20-25 minutes. She would rub Liam's shoulder periodically and make sure he stayed awake and kept sucking. By the end, she said - I think you are just fine and can go home and just feed him. Your milk has come in and you shouldn't need to do any supplemental feeding. - What a relief! I was terrified of going home and doing all this pumping and then nursing/finger feeding at each feeding. It was a huge weight lifted for her to say that I could just go home and feed him. She encouraged me that I could use the shield or pump a little first if I had trouble getting him to latch, but otherwise we were good to go.

We were so ready to go home. There was no dressing up or getting excited to come home from the hospital - we just needed to get tucked in the car and then tucked into bed. We were just so thankful to get a good report and be able to take our tiny little guy home with us!